Tuesday, June 21, 2005

Beach blogging....

I am at my annual retreat to the beach. This is a typical dusk here. This is a typical sunset. And this is bliss.

I was wandering around yesterday and saw a sketch of a beach house here, and the words, “No place on earth is better for healing broken hearts.” And I thought how true this is. When I am here, walking on the shore, I think of so many things. Of people in my life that mean so much to me, of why they do, of why I’ve lost touch with others. I play with my two boys in the water, and on the beach, looking for crabs for ‘crab castle’, or last year, to their delight, shocking everyone by running into the ice cold Atlantic (yes, it is still 55 degrees at a maximum)….and doing a full dive under the water, which makes 7 and 8 year old boys quite proud and impressed with their mom!

Last evening I was sitting here devouring a book, and I was watching the sunset turn into dusk, it was beautiful, pink on top, the deepest blue on bottom, and you can watch the blue rise into the pink with every minute, and eventually drive it away, as the stars come out overhead.

I am drawn toward the sea. I gaze and try to see in my mind my friends across the water. For this short time, I feel removed from it all. From politics, and news, and everything but examining what is truly inside of me. And we, none of us, do that often enough. We are too busy, we have work, we have plans, we have to, we must, go, go, go, and not stop, mainly for the fear of this, this introspection.

But when you stop, and you listen, you find yourself. Sometimes it isn’t the person you thought you were. Sometimes things become clearer, and others become murkier. Sometimes you are disappointed, and sometimes amazed. But when you stop, and walk along the water, there can be no doubt that where your thoughts go is to your true desires, your wishes, your hopes and dreams.

Right now, my dreams are sometimes tortured……and many times beautiful. Which I am comfortable with for once, for life is both of these.


Anonymous Medical Blog said...

Sometimes you are disappointed, and sometimes amazed.

2:21 PM  

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